


My missing half

by FangirlDead



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Husbands, I dreamt about it, Lost Love, M/M, Mention of Sebastian Moran, Richard is dead, Sad, Sorry guys, TW for car crash, day to day life, severich, tw for depression, tw for suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 01:46:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10709556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlDead/pseuds/FangirlDead
Summary: It has been three years since Richard had died. But no day goes without Severin missing him.





	My missing half

**Author's Note:**

> TW: depression, self-harm, car crash, loss of loved one, suicide

Severin sighed as his alarm clock went off and he turned around on the bed, facing the empty side of it. "Morning." He mumbled to himself as he looked at the stuffed animal on the other side. A bunny. He smiled weakly at it and got up, walking over into their... No. His bathroom and got under the shower. He didn't even know what to do that day. He knew he had to go shopping but he felt like he couldn't do it. Quietly he rubbed over his eyes under the shower, feeling how tears escaped his eyes. Maybe he would visit Richard. And maybe Sebastian. He missed his brother, but he was probably away so he would just go home again. The man got out of the shower and sighed softly, then went to brush his teeth and shave. Humming softly he shaved, accidentally cutting himself and he winced a little. So he still felt pain. Good to know. Because the last few months he had felt even more numb than usual. Sighing he closed his eyes, finished shaving and got dressed. He smiled a little at the pullover and the other side of the closet. He still hadn't moved on. He still had Richard's clothes inside his closet. And he didn't think he would ever be able to clean it out. Smiling he a little bit he put on one of Richard's favourite shirts and smiled. "You like it, bunny?" He asked into the quiet and then grabbed his grocery list. Well... also not actually his. It was Richards. He used to write it and then they would go shopping together. He didn't throw it away since it was still his handwriting. He knew over the day he would see Richard. He also knew he wasn't real. But God, even just the illusion of his passed lover made him happy. He smiled and took the wedding ring he had bought five years ago. They were married for two years. Softly sighing he closed his eyes and put it on before he put on a smile and walked out of the house with the list. Then he walked down to Tesco's and started looking for the items. 'That's the wrong kind of biscuits. You don't even like them, Rinny.' He heard the voice of his lover and he turned to the side, seeing him and smiling. "I know. Just wanted to see you again." He mumbled, knowing he had to come over as crazy to other people. Some employees knew him and at the register he got a pitying look. "How's it going, Severin?" The cashier asked and he smiled. "Fine." He turned around and grabbed his stuff, heading away. He felt awful for how he treated others, but Richard had been his everything. And now he had nothing.   
Since the crash he didn't trust any cars anymore. He was afraid of driving was afraid that he or his brother or anyone else could die. So he always just walked and now he walked to the grave yard. 'You shouldn't come here so often. Your therapist said that's not good.' "Shut up." He hissed and stalked towards the grave, biting his bottom lip as he spotted the name. Richard Moran-Brook. They had been married. Slowly Severin brushed his hands over the stone and smiled. "Hey." He whispered, tears starting to stream over his face as he sat there and then started to clean the grave up. "I still got your bunny, baby. Still in your place." He smiled a little bit, then put flowers on the grave and looked up, seeing Richard once again. 'Rinny, it's been three years. You should really start moving on.' The figure said and he shook his head, almost like a stubborn child. "Can't." He whispered and rubbed over his face, knowing it was already red from crying. How was he supposed to move on if he could have saved Richard? If he hadn't told him to take a cab then he would still be alive, then he would be here and they could hug. "I just miss you. I wanna be with you and since Seb keeps an eye on me. I can't do... stuff. Since he caught me that one time." He explained and shook his head a little bit. Sebastian had caught him with a blade when he was about to stab himself. His brother had stopped him and then had a crying mess in his arms.   
Eventually he went home again, not able to stay out more and he curled up in his bed again, hugging the bunny which started to smell less and less like Richard. Which probably didn't even smell like Richard anymore. He was probably just imaging it. Slowly he got up, walking into the bathroom again and started to search the cabinet for the sleeping pills he had. They were stupid to just give them to him. To trust him with something like this, but on the other hand it was his luck. And that was all he needed. Luck that his brother wouldn't burst in because he wasn't texting him back. Severin poured a handful of them out and looked up. 'You really shouldn't, Rinny.' Richard said and shook his head but he just smiled sadly. "But I can't without you." He mumbled and went into his bedroom, swallowing the pills and hoping that he would fall asleep quickly. He held the bunny to his chest and smiled. "Love you, bunny." He kissed the bunny and then fell into a deep sleep he wasn't supposed to wake up from again.


End file.
